Love Simulator / Scam Likely

Sorry in advance for making this weird.
I'm not cut out to be a celebrity widow
I declare that I am entering the transfer portal
Everything happens for a reason and the
Reason is nothing makes sense
Huge wolf a hot gentle web
"Christmas in the loony bin. Shining star!"
Blonde on the trax / I'll eat pancakes
On your grave
I check I am not a robot but
I'm not sure / Ben was the one who sold
The 10 Commandment Tablets to Moses
And he never got any fucking credit for it.
She wrote "I am coming to NY in January if Omicron
Isn't that bad. Can we get a drink?"
If that is code for sex the answer is Yes.
Can the drink be 50 feet tall and on fire?
They wouldn't let Fat Spiderman join
The Avengers so I ate the Avengers
I'm in the dark repeating to myself
Remember who the kidnappers are
Remember who the kidnappers are
Have you had enough of, how do you say it?
Eiffel Tower?
I am covered in your metaphorical blood are you
Coverd in my metaphorical blood?
Moses was too cheap to buy the entire set of stone
Commandment tablets
Kind, well-meaning people who are only trying to be nice
Talk to me in Crazy Voice:
"Hey Jim How Are You Doing and Are You Going to Bite Me?"
And I'm like I hadn't thought about it but now Maybe?
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Kind, well-meaning people who are only trying to be nice
Are saying "Is there anything I can do for you?"
And I say "Go to the Blue Flaming Pentagram Door Beneath the
Pulaski Skyway. There You Will Meet a Daemon named Assmodeus.
He will hand you a silver flaming envelope. Inside the
Envelope is a flaming green key. Take it
Home and wait for me to contact you via Facebook."
I was lonely at Christmas so I put felt eyes and a mouth on
A bag of chips. I named the chips Dave.
Then I cried and ate Dave and felt a little bit better.
If we're being honest I had sex with Dave and it was amazing.
Kind, well-meaning people who are only trying to be nice
Are worried about what I'm going to do now
But let's be honest, have they been worried enough
About all the things I've been doing for all these years
For absolutely no reason? I got an email from Crocs that said
Happy Holidays from Crocs! It was the best email I've ever gotten.
Kind, well-meaning people who are only trying to be nice
Ask me how I'm holding up and going forward I'm going
To have to ask them on a scale of 1-10 how honest they want me to be.
"You know, pretty well. Not up to anything too
Fucked-up, incredibly morbid and deeply worrisome"
Kind, well-meaning people who are only trying to be nice
Ask me "Can I get you anything?"
And I'm like Yes you can. Bring me the still-beating heart
Of a circumcised goat so I might go to an altar in the woods
And complete the ceremony to bring Ben back.
I think about Ben and Jim every day.
He always said the only thing he ever had to do was
Stay Black and Die. He did both.
Believe me, you wouldn't want to die in my arms.